12 Years Ago
12 years ago, my parents got a call from doctors who said, “you better come out here, we don’t know if your daughter is going to make it”. 12 years ago, I broke my neck, arm, and shoulder; but in addition to the broken bones my world was also shattered and I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel.
It was a LONG and difficult road to recovery filled with pain, rehabilitation, surgeries, and my biggest hurdle, fear. There were many times I wanted to throw in the towel and succumb to it all. The depression, fear, anxiety, and pain often times seemed never-ending.
But, shortly after the accident, I had made a promise to myself to see this as a second chance. A rebirth. A chance to be the person I knew I could and wanted to be. To live my life to the fullest in service of others. To share my gifts.
:::Fast forward:::
In 3 days I will be running my 2nd half marathon.
In less than a month, I will celebrate my 2nd wedding anniversary and my son will be ONE!
These things would not have happened if I hadn’t made that promise. I know my life wouldn’t be what it is now; if I hadn’t done the hard work of really looking at the person I was, and tackle those patterns I would get stuck in. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t happen overnight. While the accident was only 12 years ago ((which was a catalyst for change)) some of those patterns had been set into place from a very young age. Battling 20+ years of pattern is not only exhausting but it takes time. It takes perseverance as the road often presents twists, turns, dead ends, and roundabouts.
How did I do it? Lot of therapy, failing, learning from those mistakes and failures, and picking myself back up again.
One of the topics I often speak about is not waiting for your own accident to make a change. If you don’t like the path you’re on or you are unhappy in your current situation – make a change. Don’t wait. Life if too short to be stuck in something that makes you unhappy. Yes, I know, it is easier said than done. Change is scary and our old friend fear likes to try to talk you out of it. But mamas, instead of looking at change as a bad thing, a scary thing, what if you looked at it as a challenge. As it is said; FEAR has two meanings:
1. Forget Everything And Run
OR
2. Face Everything And Rise
I prefer #2, but ultimately, the choice is yours.
So mamas, today;
No matter what has happened
What you have or haven’t accomplished
How long your little one napped
If you have a messy house
What mistakes you have made
Whatever the scale says
If you got in an argument with your spouse, toddler, baby, dog, mother, friend, or that random person in target
Remember two things:
1. YOU ARE ENOUGH.
2. YOU ARE IN CONTROL.
You can get through anything you are going through. It may not happen immediately. You may not be able to figure it all out today, tomorrow, or even this month. But stick with it. Stick with the promise you made yourself. Stick with the goal that you want to accomplish. It takes time. It takes patience. Most importantly it takes giving yourself {s p a c e & g r a c e} as you navigate getting to where you want to go.
Hidden Blessing: People who know me have heard me say; “everything happens for a reason” AND “the accident is the best thing that had ever happened to me”. It is the truth. It took a long time for me to see and accept these two statements, but I couldn’t be more thankful for the accident as it literally broke more than just my bones. It broke open my heart and my life so I could put the pieces back the way I wanted them to go.