Let's Chat About Identity
Photo by Katie Peterson @thirstycrab
Mama, wife, nurse, therapist, chef, personal assistant, vet, house keeper, activity planner, teacher, event planner, meal planner, grocery shopper, schedule coordinator, dog walker, groomer... the list goes on and on.
Each of these 24/7. As a mama, we are always on call. AND while most of these jobs offer some sort of training, an orientation, a chance to shadow an employee, and instruction manual … motherhood, offers none of these.
Motherhood, and all that comes with it, can be A LOT to navigate, learn, and take on. It is so easy to get wrapped up in these identities and roles above and lose a little bit of who WE are. It can be easy to forget how important OUR needs are as we are tending to the needs of our babes and family members.
As I move through all of these roles and get a crash course and on-the-job training, I have been realizing how important “mothercare” really is. How important it is to take time for myself. Whether that is while Vincent is napping or getting out of the house to meet my friends for a mani/pedi, walk around the mall, or just hang with another adult, it is SO important and necessary to find the time to get away.
I know, this is definitely easier said than done and every time I am about to leave or take some time away, I get this moment of mom guilt for wanting or needing to take time away from Vincent. I do not know if that feeling of guilt will ever go away, but I do know that by me taking the time for myself and getting away, I am a better wife, mama, and person. When I come back I am rejuvenated and find myself enjoying the little moments more.
The time away also helps me feel like MORE THAN Vincent’s mom. Don’t get me wrong, being Vincent’s mom is the best thing in the world and the one title that means more to me than anything else… AND sometimes, it also feels like it negates everything I was prior to. And while I know that Vincent (and any future children) will always trump everything (as he should), I am finding out how important it is to continue to do the things that fulfilled me pre-mama. I need and want to continue down the path of helping others, coaching, and empowering as to not lose that part of me.
So, mamas, this is just a sweet reminder that if you are feeling stuck in motherhood, stuck or trapped a little by your new role, or are struggling to figure out who you are as a mom – it is normal. It will take time and we need to give ourselves {s p a c e & g r a c e} as we navigate and figure it all out.
Give yourself permission to be a little “selfish”. Take that time away. And if you need some encouragement… ask your hubby or partner to give you a hug and kiss and praise you a little for taking YOU time. It will start to feel easier. Because, if we don’t take care of ourselves … how are we going to take care of our babes??